(I found this on the internet and just had to translate it and post it here. XD)

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The Dark Lord needs YOU!

Our well-established organization for the spread of death, terror and black magic is looking for the next possible date for

Death Eaters (m / f)


You...

• are pure-blood
• are 16 - 100 years old
• are discreet
• never make a mistake
• are adaptive and ambitious to always enhance your knowledge of the Dark Arts also with unconventional methods
• know the Unforgivable Curses off pat
• take much pleasure in torturing and killing Muggles, Mudbloods, Squibs and other annoying riff-raff
• are unbashful in associating with Dementors, giants, trolls, Inferi, werewolves, vampires and other creatures from hell
• are prepared to do overtime, night and weekend working
• are committed to our organization and under no circumstances put its goals and leaders into question
• are unhesitatingly prepared to sacrifice your life and the life of the ones close to you for even the smallest dubious purpose
• conscientiously give notice of every suspicious behaviour of your colleagues to the administration
• are open to criticism and gladly let yourself be humiliated and tortured by your boss
• ideally are fluent in Parseltongue


We offer you...

• a challenging and exciting job at varying interesting places
• comprehensive advanced trainings in the Dark Arts with the unbeaten master of his business
• appealing working clothes, for which every goth will envy you
• an aesthetical tattoo for free
• a customary salary of 0 Galleons, 0 Sickles and 0 Knuts
• 24 working hours a day, 7 working days a week, 0 leave days a year
• no health insurance (You don't need it, we don't leave our members behind alive.)
• no career opportunities at all
• high chances of an early and painful death through the hand of your enemies or of your moody boss


Please send your inconspicuous owl with a significant application including a complete family tree and a lifelong commitment signed with your own blood to:

Mr. Tom M. Riddle, Somewhere, England


Since the rate of female employees with us unfortunately lags behind the statutory equal treatment of Witches and Wizards, we'll preferential handle applications from women with equal qualification.